i dont know...

is it ok to be mad at your best friend? because i am. i mean...it's a relatively stupid reason to be upset, however, i am. i really really like this kid named asa and lynsie knows it. lynsie, who does infact have a boyfriend (mike), continues to flirt shamelessly with asa, giving him backrubs, making sexual comments, asking if he can unsnap a bra with one hand...things of this nature. now normally i wouldnt mind this, but she KNOWS i like him...and this is the second time this year she's done this to me, and the last time she ended up KIND of with him. and now she's doing it again...and OMG....i wanted her to come home with me this weekend cuz my gramma is sick and i didnt wanna make the whole trip by myself. i asked her to come with me and she said she couldnt because her younger sister had a band concert on saturday nite, now being a band geek myself, i totally understand the reasoning behind this and understood. however, not even 2 hours before, she had told asa that she would go out to his mom's house with him ALL DAY SATURDAY and spend the nite so they could get drunk....i mentioned this when she told me she couldnt come with me. she said she changed her mind and wasnt gonna go to asa's, she was gonna stay in CR and then go to her sister's concert. that was fine, i understood.

last night i got a phone call from lynsie's mom Julie asking if lynsie was with me or if i knew where she was because she hadnt been home for the concert and hadnt called. i told julie that i was home for the weekend but i had a couple people i could call and ask. the first person i called was asa. he was drunk at his moms...and so was lynsie. i talked to lynsie and said that her mom called and was worried and she was supposed to call her. then i just hung up and didnt say another word to her.....and continuted to fume over the whole situation for the rest of the night.

why does this always have to happen to me? i fall for a guy completely, and he falls for one of my best friends. you may remember the post i made about wondering if something was a date...yeah, that day was spent with asa. and i still like him. i spend most days with him and we hang out and have a great time. thursday he came over and had me go all over CR with him while he ran erands, then we went back to his house and cleaned all day and hung out that nite and the next day as well. maybe im just being a silly little girl about the whole thing, but doesnt that seem like something you'd do with a girl that you liked a lot? i mean...why me? why would he ask me to go with him to pay his bills and buy parts for his car and go grocery shopping if he didnt like me? GRRR

and i think that the thing that hurts the most is that i've talked to lynsie about this and she continues to behave the same way. i understand...she's a flirt, she cant help it. but would she be acting this way if her boyfriend were sitting right next to her? NO. dont get me wrong, she's one of my best friends and i love her more than anything. but why is she doing this to me? and why the hell cant i just talk to her about it???

maybe i'll just have her read this...